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You were miserable with him, and now you’re even more miserable without him. Unfortunately, a relationship is hard to view through the same objective lens as a job.

They cling to the belief that since they never experienced anything like that before, they never will again. No, because no two people are exactly alike and even still, you and he broke up proving someone exactly like him is not what you need.

You convince yourself that no other man on the planet has the same qualities as him and thus, you have two choices: get him back or settle for someone who will never measure up. You won’t find someone with his exact qualities…will find someone even better and more compatible with you. Most people confuse true love with infatuation even though these two concepts couldn’t be more different.

Many people make the mistake of thinking that the reason they’re so sad after a breakup is because they genuinely miss their former partner.

This is true to an extent, but it’s far from the whole picture.

MORE: 6 Ways To Get Over A Break-Up Most of the time, it’s not the guy you’re missing…it’s the feelings you experienced when you were with him.

You miss the intimacy, the closeness, the feeling of being desired and admired.

Let’s say you had a job where you felt perpetually stressed, anxious, and miserable.

You put in all you could, even if it came at the expense of your ego and sometimes, your sanity. Yes, being unemployed is scary so at first you’ll feel upset and worried, but you will also probably feel relieved.

Maybe you don’t speak up anymore, maybe you aren’t the same bubbly, confident person you once were, maybe you put him and his needs above your own.

The emotional devastation you feel after a breakup is usually proportional to the extent you sold yourself out.

You’ll realize, with perfect clarity, that it wasn’t the right place for you.