Personally, I walk like this: And I wear these: (My orthotist gave a knowing look when I finally requested the “rainbow” swatch.) I don’t exactly pass as able-bodied.
Most people know something is “off” as soon as I stand up (as one college professor not-so-gracefully put it, “I looked at you and went ‘‘”).
Bdend-1g /* Trending Now */ /* Center Rail */ #ya-center-rail .profile-banner-default .ya-ba-title #Stencil . Bgc-lgr #ya-best-answer, #ya-qpage-msg, #ya-question-detail, li.ya-other-answer .tupwrap .comment-text /* Right Rail */ #Stencil . Bxsh-003-prpl #yai-q-answer, #ya-trending, #ya-related-questions h2. Fw-300 .qstn-title #ya-trending-questions-show-more, #ya-related-questions-show-more #ya-trending-questions-more, #ya-related-questions-more /* DMROS */ . That means something different for all of us: some of us walk with braces; some walk without anything; some use wheelchairs; some have hands, feet, and faces that do their own thing; some stand on their toes; some communicate verbally; some don’t.Anyone who’s come out, if only to herself, knows a similar feeling: acknowledging that your desires are valid even though they’re not the ones you were “supposed” to have.When I came out in high school, I knocked cerebral palsy to the furthest psychological backburner possible.It’s true that I lack many of CP’s obvious markers, and aside from stairs without handrails and clawfoot bathtubs (seriously, why? But literally walking the line between able-bodied and not has given me an up close look at how people think about disabilities, and I will say this: if you’re not able-bodied, it’s really hard to get people to take you seriously. But they’re uncomfortable, on some level, with you making your own choices — especially if those choices might have painful outcomes. There are a couple different assumptions at work here: first, that you’ve already that you deserve the gold star of a decision-free life, and second, that you are a child in need of constant protection.
They will tell you how brave and inspirational you are, for sure (which, of course, is more about them than you). Everyone around you will manicure your life so that you don’t have to experience difficulty. That becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: when everyone takes care of you, it’s damn near impossible to grow up. Ok Cupid is free to join, free to search, and free to message. Fw-300 #ya-qn-sort h2 /* Breadcrumb */ #ya-question-breadcrumb #ya-question-breadcrumb i #ya-question-breadcrumb a #bc .ya-q-full-text, .ya-q-text #ya-question-detail h1 html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] .ya-q-full-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] .ya-q-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] .ya-q-full-text, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] .ya-q-text html[lang="zh-Hant-TW"] #ya-question-detail h1, html[lang="zh-Hant-HK"] #ya-question-detail h1 #Stencil . I wanted to please her, but was also interested to see what this would mean for me and for my body. The delight of never knowing quickly gave way to frustration. Sure enough, when I finally asked, I got the answer I had feared: “I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you.” What that said to me was, “this woman still thinks I’m a little girl.” Up to that point, I thought I’d done everything “right”: cultivated a functional relationship, finally let someone see me with my clothes off, said yes to sex, talked about my body, listened about hers, been willing to try new things, behaved like an adult. All of a sudden, the “nice girl” formula that had made my disability palatable — acknowledge, but don’t dissect; laugh it off when things get tough — failed.It’s not often people invite me to take physical risks. I had literally done the most grown-up thing I could think of with this person, and she still saw me as vulnerable.I can’t immediately catalog it or diagnose it as benign.