It makes your heart fall into your boots, and you wonder if you can ever make up for it.
If you imagine that despite being divorced, your date’s previous relationship is still alive and kicking because, then you hand over power to a relationship that didn’t work and broke up.
Have you met the love of your life, but feel uneasy because your partner is divorced?Do you wonder whether their history is intruding on your new and exciting relationship?Before you can move on to a new relationship, you need to let go of the old one. Just let it run its natural course and do plenty to nurture yourself as you move forward. On the other hand, if you’re finding reasons to let things drag on, it could be that you’re finding excuses to hold back. If you’re on the rebound, you’re more likely to make bad decisions or get into relationships for all the wrong reasons.It’s normal to feel lonely and vulnerable after a divorce, but that isn’t a reason to rush into a new relationship. If you’re just looking for someone to fill the gap left by your ex, you won’t make the best choices for yourself.If you genuinely like someone, that’s a great reason to date them.
But if you’re just looking for a way to feel less lonely, it’s a sign that you’re not done with the healing process yet. But finding that out early on is the only fair thing to both of you.
You can’t date until you’re both sure it’s over and you’re not harboring a secret desire to get back together. You need some time and space to fall in love with yourself again first and foremost.
You might not want to talk to your ex about your current dating plans, but if you’re not divorced yet it’s the most honest thing to do. Factor in a little pamper time or even a weekend break here and there to give yourself time to heal. If you’re still hoping to get back together with your partner, or still dealing with a lot of sadness and bitterness surrounding the separation, you’re not ready yet. It’s a huge step, and it’s only natural to feel some hesitation.
If you come from a divorced family, you may have unprocessed guilt that acts as a saboteur, making you deny the reality of the divorce – just as you may have wanted to do as a child with your own parent. Above all, discover what you are trying to protect yourself from by ceding what is now your power, back to some defunct relationship that doesn’t exist.
Therapy to deal with dating someone who is divorced is a good way of grappling with these sabotaging tendencies.
If you’re separated but not divorced, dating is a tricky subject.