And this couldn’t be more true when it comes to contacting someone online.
Online dating gives you a bit of an advantage in that you can strategically plan that first message so it hits home with a bit of a punch.
Extensive research into online dating statistics show that there are some set rules that we all need to follow.
Here is my question: Are men ok with women sending introductory emails to them? In some ways, I see a email hello similar to a come-hither look at a bar, etc.
but in other ways it seems very aggressive and therefore a turnoff to most men. Dear Jane, Your question brings up two of the most common mistakes that women make in online dating:1) Waiting for Men to Write to You First 2) Telling Him What You Like About His Profile First things first: Men LOVE it when women write to them. If you have an attractive photo, interesting essay, and you’re in his target demographic, why WOULDN’T he be excited to hear from you?
Messages using words like will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately.
Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests. Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like.
There is nothing inherent about initiating an email conversation that screams out “desperate”.
However…Where most women screw up that first email contact is by taking one of two approaches: 1) telling him how great he is, or 2) explaining why you’re great and why he should write back to you.“But…doesn’t that just about cover it? ”Presuming you’ve had a man write to you before, is it really all that interesting when he tells you that he thinks you’re cute?
Eg, say you both have a love for adventure travel — you see that he’s been trekking in Nepal, and has visited the Amazon…
Your mother always told you so and you never really believed it too much, but the fact is that first impressions really count.
Emails that tell a man that you hope he writes back are weak.
Find the tone that shows that – and maybe he’ll feel lucky to have you.
That is EXACTLY the metaphor I use for private clients in describing the “tone” you want to capture in your initial contact.